Check out my little baby face. @arianneken and I sitting on @joycethechoice in the back of a very full van. NO CAR SEATS.
I walked into my mom’s house today to pick up Indy and I was already in a crummy mood.
Wait…before I go any further, you need to know a bit of TMI that you may not necessarily want to know, but it’s relevant for the remainder of this post: Today is the 1st day of my period and while I am relieved that we are not pregnant, the first day, as you ladies know, is the worst day.
Moving on…So as I was chatting with my mom, I let out one of those tired groans and put my hands on my abdomen and looked at my mom and just said, “cramps” then without thinking, I said, “I think i’m gonna get on that birth control that stops your period altogether.” To which she furrowed her brows, sat up in her chaise lounge and said,
"WHAT?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"
"Because," I said, "I’m tired of this happening every month. I feel faint and dizzy and sick and my voice gets all weird and I have anxiety attacks. It’s terrible."
"WELL…DON’T YOU WANT TO HAVE ANY MORE KIDS?!"
….there it is….Since Indy was two years old my mom has been asking us when and if we were going to have any more kids. “Do you want Indy to be lonely?” “Don’t you think he’s bored?!” “Your sisters both have two kids already!” So for the past three or so years, at every family gathering, randomly at dinner, through text conversations or fb chats, my mom will sneak in the question of “when” and “why not?” The answer I give is always the same, it was the same today:
"Not in the next year or so…I don’t know."
Wouldn’t a wishy-washy answer like that from anyone just tell you that this person is NOT ready to be a parent? “I don’t know.” I DON’T KNOW? I DON’T KNOW?! That’s something you say to the question, “Where do you want to eat for dinner?” “I don’t know.” Not to having a baby. I plan everything- I have a plan for everything. If a friend asks me to hang out, I want to know at least a week in advance and then I confirm those plans with that person a day or two before and then again the day of. If i’m telling you that I don’t know if I want to have another child, it should tell you to back off.
Then she goes, “How old are you now??”
"You better have another one by the latest 37 or else your son or daughter will be 15 and you’ll be too old for them."
I love my mom, I really do. But I’m sorry, WHAT?! I have never, ever understood people who ask such personal questions or make statements like that and assume that they are 100% right or justified in saying them about SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE. I know, she’s my mother, but she of all people should know that planning a family isn’t as easy as setting a timeline or making a heavy-handed suggestion and then expecting it to be followed.
I don’t blame her, totally. We have a very large family, she came from a family of 10 brothers and sisters and we all agree that it’s a lot more fun when there are a lot of people around, but Keith, Indy and I are happy. I don’t know what it’s like to be an only child, but if we decide not to have anymore kids, Indy won’t feel any less loved than he would if we’d had 5 more kids. It has nothing to do with numbers and everything to do with the quality of life you are able to offer your child. I know that if Keith and I decided to get pregnant right now, we would be in a mess. I’m not ready to quit working, which I would want to do if I had another baby. I’m not ready to stop singing, which I feel like I would also want to do.
So to end this post and to answer the question that a few of you may be asking in your minds right now: Keith and I don’t know if we want to have any more kids of our own. Pregnancy was a happy process for me until it wasn’t and it took me a very, very long time to get back to a place where I felt like I was ready to work and sing publicly again. We feel very strongly about adoption since Keith was adopted and we feel that adoption is really important. But as of right now, I don’t know.
Please do yourselves a favor and stop asking people when they’re having a baby/another one. If that person is thinking about it, they’ll probably bring it up on their own because they trust you and want your opinion or guidance on the matter.
BLOOMFIELD, MI—Noting that she had left earlier and would probably be gone for most of the evening, household sources confirmed Wednesday that local mother Diane Walsh has got her thing tonight. According to Walsh family members, this is the same th…
"Acknowledging the large tote bag that the 48-year-old is usually spotted with while leaving for the thing, family members said tonight’s thing is likely related to the pile of stuff that Mom is always working on in the study when they arrive home from school. Household sources concluded this is the same stuff Mom is always saying she wished she had more time to work on, if not for the all the other stuff that she has to do around the house."
Rules: Always post the rules. Answer the questions of the person who tagged you and write 11 new ones. Tag 11 people and link them. Let them know they are tagged
1. What’s your secret talent?
Um, I can actually dance (not like ballet or anything real) really, really well. I just recently learned how to do the DLow Shuffle. YouTube it and be impressed.
2. What kind of music do you like to dance to when you’re drunk?
I don’t know. I’ve only ever been drunk 1 or 2 times in my life and there wasn’t any music playing.
3. What comfort food do you crave most?
Filipino food! Pork Adobo to be exact!
4. What if your pet peeve when it comes to grammar?
They’re/their/there. Than/Then THOSE WORDS ALL HAVE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MEANINGS, HOW DO PEOPLE GET THEM CONFUSED?!?
5. Dogs or cats?
Ew! Dogs, of course!
6. What movie do you think I should see RIGHT NOW?
This is tough. If you haven’t seen all of the Wes Anderson Films, you need to watch all of them, stat.
7. What do you think is your best facial feature?
My smile? I dunno.
8. What, seemingly inconsequential thing do you find important in a romantic partner?
That he reads. I don’t even read that much, but if a man reads, it means he wants to better himself and that there’s something going on in his brain.
9. Have you ever thought how you would commit murder if you had to?
Geeez- Nope. Not until just now. And still, I have no clue how I would do it.
10. What’s one thing you wish you had a talent for but don’t?
I wish I could draw and dance FOR REAL- like trained dance.
11. What’s on the top of your Bucket List?
My 11 questions:
1. What was the first CD you ever purchased with your own money?
2. Where did your first kiss happen?
3. How did you end up in your current career?
4. How many bones have you broken? Which ones?
5. What do you wear to bed on a typical night? (not on a night when you’re tryin’ to get lucky)
6. What is one bad habit that you admit to?
7. Favorite Disney movie?
8. What’s the most selfish thought you’ve had in the past week?
9. What’s something you should have done years ago?
10. What’s the most important quality you look for in a friend?
11. Tell me one of the weirdest things about you.
I know that this is against the rules, but how about if you WANT to answer these questions, you do so and then tag me in them!
My family got together this weekend in memory of my Grandmother and the 1 year anniversary of her death. I wasn’t able to be there for the actual service that was held at my parent’s house on Saturday night, but I brought my camera for lunch on Sunday and got some really great pictures. I love my family.
Drunk Hogcat asked me to call after not being able to coherently text at all, I decided to transcribe the story. Best decision ever.
They came back and they had cheesecake. They both had the same chocolate cheesecake from cheesecake factory.
They went to the beach, annnd there was this girl and…
Read this story that I transcribed over the phone last night when I was talking to Scott and he was (more than a little) tipsy. And then follow our other blog where all names are “Hogcat” ….for reasons.